【讀者文摘】致所有經歷異地戀或於複雜感情狀況的你們

致所有經歷異地戀或於複雜感情狀況的你們：
 
最近看了一套電影 Dear John （分手信、最後一封情書），很想更大家分享。如果你們是正在經歷異地戀，或有與電影情節相似的經歷，我是十分推薦你看，即使你沒有，這電影也讓你有另一番的體會，快要使人哭到欲哭無淚。
 
先簡單的講述一下故事，男主角John為美軍特種部隊，在假期回家時遇上仍在求學的女主角Savannah，像一般的愛情故事，他們很快便戀上了。但又與平凡的愛情不一樣，熱戀期的他們需要分隔兩地一年，沒有手機，男方不可告知所在地，可以維繫這段的只有書信來往。他們都以為一年後，男方會退役，可是，好景不常，911發生了，他需延長服役。女方最後等不到他，以一封信與仍在戰場的John分手，並說已經訂婚了。
 
分隔兩地，為一段關係帶來許多挑戰，時差使兩人的溝通時間減短，距離使兩人無法面對面向對方表達愛意。不論你有多想念對方，多想見見他一面，哪怕只有一小時，只見一面也不能的時候，這微小的要求變成了一個願望，變成了一個夢。或許你會開始覺得失落，覺得寂寞空虛。你睡覺時，他在工作，他睡覺時，你便工作。
 
這片中的情侶便遇到更多的困難，John需上戰場，Savannah把青春作這段關係的賭注，可以是John安全歸來，一起有個Happy ending，也可以是John戰死沙場，她只剩一人。我看完這電影後，我便想是否因為Savannah太寂寞了，所以她決定要離開John？還是因為她對這段關係信心不夠？她覺得太困難了？
 
或許有時女孩需要的東西很簡單，便是一種安全感。
 
我理解她的難處和矛盾，明明深愛著對方，但最終也作出了一個決定-離開-。
我想與正在處於異地戀／跟與John和Savannah有相似情況的你們說：你們既然選擇了這樣談戀愛，便應一早有心理準備會出現種種的難關，你們是需要比普通情侶投放更多努力與愛去維繫彼此的關係。或許你會有很多想法出現讓你質疑這段關係，懷疑對方，開始出現不信任，讓關係變得更困難。
 
但聽我說一句⋯⋯「兩人真摯的愛會勝過距離，彼此的信心會把你們拉得更近」。只要你是心愛對方，願意打開心扉把日常生活大大小小的事都分享，距離不會把你們分開，反而讓你們更深愛著對方，更期待下一次的見面，更珍惜彼此的相遇，大家的關係和擁有的時間，使關係更堅固。
 
我記得有一天，C先生跟我說：「有時候，很想念你，在想為什麼我們要分隔這麼遠，我會想你到底在世界的另一端在做什麼，是在睡覺還是在工作。」即使我們相隔了7000多哩，謝謝你從來沒有讓我覺得我們的愛情有距離，就讓這個寂寂無名的地方，記錄下我們的愛情。

2019年7月15日 11:38PM

 
To those who are in a long distance relationship or in a complicated relationship:

I watched a movie called "Dear John" recently and it is highly recommended to someone who is having a similar kind of relationship to watch it. Even though you don't, it's worth watching, you will learn A LOT, but be sure to have tissue ready, it will make you cry until the end of the movie.

To begin with, it is a movie about a love story between an U.S special forces soldier who is named John and a college girl- Savannah. It's like a typical love story, they fell in love with each other so fast. At the same time, unlike the common couple relationship, they needed to be apart for a year. No phone, John can't tell her where he would be sent. They thought after a year, they could be together. However, 911 happened and John had to extend service in the army. Eventually, Savannah gave up on the relationship and sent him the last letter to tell him that she couldn't wait and already got engaged to someone.

\Long distance relationships are a challenge to any couple. Time zone difference shortens the time they can communicate, distance makes it difficult for them to express their love face to face. No matter how much you miss her/him, how much you just wish to meet him/her for an hour, the little request becomes a wish, become a dream. You may start feeling disappointed, lonely. When you sleep, he works, when he sleeps and you work.

There were more obstacles for John and Savannah. John needed to be at the war, Savannah bet her youth and time on the relationship. Either John could come back safely and then happily ever after together or John dies and then she would be alone. After I watched the movie, I have been thinking about the reasons why she ended the relationship. Was she too lonely? Did she have not enough confidence in the relationship? Did she think it's too difficult? 

Maybe sometimes what girls really want is simple---- feeling secure.

I totally understand her situation, she definitely loved him, but she decided to leave. I would like to share with all of you who are in a long distance relationship: If you decide to have a long distance relationship, you will need to be prepared to know that it could be difficult. You will have to put more effort into the relationship to maintain it. You may come up with many thoughts to question the relationship or your significant others. Distrust appears then the relationship becomes more difficult.

But really.. listen... "True love can overcome the distance, unbreakable faith can bring you two even closer." If you are truly in love with someone and willing to share all of your things to him/her, distance won't tear you guys apart but bring you two even closer instead, love each other even more, more looking forward to seeing each other again, cherish the meet, the time and the relationship. It strengths it and makes it more stable.

I still remember, one day Mr.C told me that he always thinks about what am I doing when he's missing me so much, am I working or sleeping on the other side of the world.
Thank you for everything and I never feel that we are being apart from each other more than 7000miles. There isn’t distance in our relationship. Let this quiet place to record down our love story. I love you so much.

15th July 2019 11:38PM